First dates have a natural awkwardness to them, so why start off with a practice that’s going to make it even more uncomfortable? There’s no need to navigate a potentially four-course-long evening of “getting to know you” if that chemistry could be established in a much shorter and less-pressurized time frame. In general, cocktail bar dates are better than dinner for first dates because they offer an approach to date that has lower stakes, better mechanics for conversation, a built-in progression, reduces stress, and allows easier situational solutions (like splitting costs) should the date veer off the expected track.
Lower Stakes Make for Better First Dates
There are certain unstated but well-understood commitments to dinner dates. First of all, there’s a commitment to time. Both parties know that at the very minimum they are going to be together for the next hour but likely closer to two, all while sitting across from one another making forced conversation. This creates a tension even before the date begins. Adding additional pressure in those first 15 minutes as you make small talk can be excruciating.
Cocktail date “meetings” begin with lower expectations. Meeting for cocktails implies a meeting for drinks might only be an hour as well, and if things work out well, possibly two. No one feels trapped, which means both parties are more willing to come into the date relaxed and able to enjoy the experience rather than focusing on overcoming the awkwardness inherent in first dates.
There is also flexibility baked into the format of the cocktail date. If great chemistry is present, dates can flow naturally into other plans (dinner, another cocktail bar, etc.) without anyone having to designate that as a planned event at the start of the evening.
Better Date Mechanics
The tables at restaurants have people sitting across from each other in a face-to-face arrangement that makes honest conversation feel more like an interview. First dates can feel like interrogations as it is, so the added table barrier doesn’t do any favors toward making these meetings feel more comfortable.
Quality cocktail bars often have better seat arrangements for conversation. Bar seating puts people right beside each other rather than facing one another. This reduces the intensity of people staring at one another and makes it easier to converse without constant eye contact. Even high-table or lounge seating in a bar feels more casual than sitting across from one another at a dinner table and reduces that immediate sense of being judged.
Cocktail bars also enable better conversation by avoiding an event that restaurants force people to navigate. Restaurant diners need to deal with menus, ordering, food arriving, eating, and various other things that interrupt the moment. In cocktail bars, however, people focus on each other and a novel drinking experience.
The Venue Selection Set Up
Cocktail meet-ups also allow better venue selection than obligatory restaurant dinner dates. There are many types of cocktail bars (casual ones and ones that make an effort and show class). Selecting the appropriate level venue demonstrates care and effort.
Demonstrating that effort by going to a bar with character (like a covent garden cocktail bar if in central London) shows good taste and understanding of what makes for a good date location.
Built-in Progression for When Dates Go Well
In addition to better mechanics and lower-stakes situations, cocktail dates provide built-in flexibility for progressing through an evening together if things are going well. With dinner dates, once the waiter drops off the first course, things cannot progress beyond what’s been planned unless someone wants to leave mid-meal.
If conversation is good on a cocktail date and both parties would like to continue spending time together, cocktails transition easily into more cocktails, food, or other activities. The logistics behind this progression do not need any prior planning (especially if moving between venues) as can be easily accomplished during the date itself.
The Changing Atmosphere Within Cocktail Bars Promotes Interaction
Transitioning from cocktails is exceptionally easy because it’s common practice in most establishments. Engaging with drink menus facilitates interaction before the bartender prepares cocktails. Discussing menu choices offers talking points.
Most cocktail bars have great bartender recommendations. Additionally, sharing drinks or ordering multiple cocktails offers additional sources of interaction above and beyond standard question-and-answer type interactions.
Cocktail Bars Reduce Anxiety Levels Associated With First Dates
When it comes to easing anxieties on first dates (which can range all over the place), cocktail bars offer distinct advantages over restaurants. There’s no expectation around getting through elaborate menus. Strange eating mechanics aren’t involved.
The nervousness often associated with avoiding awkward attention out of fear results in the ambiance provided in quality cocktail establishments. They somehow strike a balance between being noticeably special (demonstrating effort on the part of whomever proposed the date) but also appearing comfortable enough that no one must put on their finest outfit or cover story to feel okay.
This ease comes from a proper sensory setup. Barring uncomfortable yet necessary conversational gaps enables people to overcome stresses with interesting cocktails and discussions about what flavors they enjoy rather than forming perfect responses to standard questions.
The Practical Considerations Associated With Cocktail Bar Meet-Ups
The practicality of cocktail bars should never be overlooked when considering this option for first meet-ups. Splitting costs becomes much easier when navigating early dating stages where people actively feel one another out regarding who pays for what.
Dinner costs tend to be complicated while cocktails can be incredibly simple regardless of who pays (or whether payments are split). Offering to pick up one drink while the other party picks up another show effort without burdening either party on awkward initial dates.
Meeting for drinks also presents better timings for arrival and departure than dinner options. Meeting for drinks at 7 or 8 offers flexibility in timing before (and after) the meeting. This avoids any awkward feelings about needing to make strategic excuses after plates drop.
Setting The Correct First Date Tone
Proposing to meet for drinks rather than dinner communicates awareness regarding setting the correct tone for early phases of dating. It offers a much better environment than restaurants in which to navigate that critical first phase of deciding whether people feel any chemistry or vibe together.
Quality cocktail venues create environments where this early contact also feels enjoyable by providing good drinks and appropriate atmospheres coupled with transitional formats that allow genuine interaction between parties involved rather than forced interviewing events. Cocktail bar dates work because they allow individuals enjoy themselves and focus on what matters rather than getting caught up in minor details about settings established for something entirely different from what these meetings involve.